How I Was Left Standing Alone on Top of The Empire State Building....

Thursday, February 14, 2019

cue, Marianas Trench - "I knew you when"

I am not a risk taker, I prefer calculated risks, well thought out endeavours and most of all outcomes I can control. This might be why I am in business and why that comes naturally to me. A friend of mine, reminds me of this every once in a while, but also challenges me to break out of that. A couple of years ago, she somehow convinced me to take a biggest leap of faith and do something where I have zero control of an event or an outcome. 

Let me explain, I don't have any regrets about the things I have done, just some that I didn't do; so this Valentines day I m sharing a story of the one that got away. 
Lets call him A. A and I met while in junior high, we were in the same class, I was a complete nerd and he was a well liked popular kid, (lets say we  were bordering on he didn't know I existed) but I had a crush and then he moved away right after high school. We completely lost touch, then fast forward a few years, there it was; a new notification on Facebook... saying A has added you as a friend. 
A few months or so later, I was in the most magical city in the world living a dream with a guy I was falling for. However, after a two week whirlwind of a romance I was back home and that was it. From there it turned into a series of many (& I mean many) wrong place, wrong time for us.

I was over it, I moved on, it wasn't meant to be. But as luck would have it after not seeing him for years, we happened to be at the same football game. It took all of 17 second of him walking up the stadium stairs towards me, for me to feel every feeling I ever had, for him. 

and then nothing. radio silence.

Time flew by and just when I thought I forgot A existed, there he was sliding into my DMs - and the kid only got better with age, which was annoying AF.

Fast forward to 2017 Valentines day and biggest leap of faith... after much needed encouragement and a lot of wine one night, I set out to New York to get some clarity, once and for all. On todays date, two years ago, on Valentines day I landed at the airport, sent a message saying "Hey what are you doing now?" and a follow up text "meet me at ESB at 5pm". 

So I stood at top of  the Empire State building, waiting to get my "what if" question answered. 

I stood, waiting, for what seems like an eternity, he never showed up.  Needless to say, story book endings and romances will remain in books and movies; but I got my answer. 

If you played the "I knew you when" you are now listening to the 
"I  thought time was supposed to heal it
Don't do shit but keep you feeling..."

Moral of the story, trying to recreate a Gossip Girl scene might prove that your love life might is definitely not meant to be a fairly tale, but its awesome (and worth doing) either way. Time might not heal all, but definitely makes it easier to talk about it. And, maybe sometimes it's riskier not to take a risk because you're guaranteeing that things will stay the same.

Happy Love day my loves.